What did we do last night that was yellow?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
