It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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