I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
