Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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