I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
