Someone shit on the floor
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize