you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize