What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
