It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
