remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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