I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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