I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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