i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
