She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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