And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
