im so drunk with asians
where?
always
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
