This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
