You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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