Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
