Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
