Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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