she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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