Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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