Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
