i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
