How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
