He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
