Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
