sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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