Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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