alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
