i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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