You can't special order awesome
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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