well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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