You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
