he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
