i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
