is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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