absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
