piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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