I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
