Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
