What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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