Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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