I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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