If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
