You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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