i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
