Soap is not a condiment
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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