Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
