I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
