Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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