we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
