I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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