i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
