this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
