Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
