Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
