he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
