Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
