ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
