So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize