last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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