I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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